seeing ghosts

it was last friday, my boyfriend was working second shift, as usual, and my parents were on their way to the grocery and wal mart, which is their routine on pay-day.  since i’ve been home, i’m accustomed to going with them.  it’s really the only time i get out of the house, besides with robbie, so it’s something i look forward to.  spending time with my parents is nice too, we get along well, and we make each other laugh.  it’s never dull, and it makes staying home on friday nite seem a little less like torture.

so i’m roaming through wal mart with my mom n dad, and we are picking up little odds and ends.  candles and toothpaste and fabric softener.  i was marveling out loud to my mother how great it was to be able to buy things like that with cash, and not have to steal them.  and how great it was to have a home to put shit like that into.  she smiled.

“it’s nice, isn’t it, sweety?” she just looked at me like i told her “oh by the way, the sky is blue”

we walked over to the pet aisle to get some treats for lily, my dog. (my favorite animal of all time, by the way) and as i walked down the aisle a kid walked by me, and said, “what’s up” like he knew me, nodding his head.

my heart stopped.

tears filled my eyes.

i couldn’t breathe.

i turned around so fast my sneakers squeaked, and i scanned the center aisle for him. but he was gone. vanished into thin air.

isaac.

now i know in my head that isaac has been dead for years. i know that. but i swear on all i love that it was him in that store.  nothing like this has ever happened to me before in my life.  and i have plenty of dead relatives and loved ones i would love to see in visions or apparitions.  i do have dreams about isaac alot. my cousin as well.  but never anything like this.

my mom looked over and saw my pale face full of tears, and she stopped dead. “what’s wrong, kiki?” she put her hand on my arm. i took a deep breath and looked at her. “i just saw isaac.” i felt completely retarded the second it came out of my mouth.  my mom just smiled that same smile, like i had just stated a completely obvious fact. ” that’s good, sweety, that just means he’s looking out for you, and he’s still here loving you.”  she pushed her cart down the aisle. “i see your cousin every once in a while.”  and she picked up a bag of biscuits.

that’s one of the things i love about my mother so much, she’s so willing to accept the unexplainable.  she’s so sure that there is something beyond this life, and it’s a good something.  it gives me hope.

ever since then i’ve felt better. at the time i was so overwhelmed with fear and sadness that i didn’t know what to feel.  but after i talked to my mother i decided she had the right idea…that isaac is just watching over me, messing with my head a little, just like he always did.  that’s one of the things i love about him the most.  my best friend.