hello, my name is kaia, and i am an addict. i have been posting my sordid life story on junkylife.com for the past couple years. through all the dramatic ups and downs i’ve endured, this blog has been my security blanket. i can always go back to it when i feel i’m losing my deathgrip on this life. (constantly slipping away) now that junkylife has come to the ends of its last run…i a have picked up the pieces and moved it all over to wordpress for good.
here’s me, in one paragraph or less…..fuct up childhood leads to even mor fuct up adolecense, drugs take over the moment i put a mood altering chemical in my body. i have been on the run ever since. if you can abuse it, i took it to the extreame, and if you can get strung out on it, i’ve been there. i’ve kicked every drug possible…from meth to benzos and everything in between. my life has not been a picnic, but i do the best i can to survive it with a sense of humor.
my story rarely has a happy ending, so if that’s what you’re looking for, good luck in your search, cuz i don’t have it here. more often than not, its tragic in a really annoying way, because the truth is, i’m a junky, and i keep using even though i know i’m fucking myself. that’s the catch 22 i live each day. i know there is another ending to this story, but i just keep rewriting the same one over and over, hoping for a better conculusion. that is the insanity of my diease.
thanks for letting me share.
many moons later….
hey kiddies. i don’t even know if anyone ever sees this anymore, but it keeps me from cutting my wrists the right way, if you can dig it, so fuck it. things have gone from bad to worst, as they ususally do in this daytime drama i call junkylife. i just got out of prison, which is a story for another time, i’m considering going back to strippin, cuz there are no jobs out there, especially for convicted felons, my man and i fight constantly, cuz he thinks a killer benzo habit on the clinic makes him clean, and i just wanna stick myself. but hey, so goes life, right friends and neighbors. just another day in the life of a nondescript junkbox.
Kaia, [sp?!!]
I think I need to talk to you. Not because I need to save you or you need to save me but because something in your most recent blog resonated so deeply that I envisioned you sharing my home, recreating a true connection. I just felt the touch of god.
I am many things, a mama, an autistic teacher, a recently divorced chica from an addict.
Life is calling to me, letting me know that I should know you for some reason that i cannot yet explain.
PLease email me.
I’m an avid reader. I’ve read some incredible classical and contemporary writers, and I even write a little myself… I’ve never been so thirsty for anyone’s writing as I have been for your biographical stories. They fascinate me.
I’ve read somewhere–I’m not sure where–that the problem with writers, is that they do not have enough life experience. You have enough for 10 writers.
I know that you’ve had a tough time and made some serious mistakes, but putting that aside, I say BRAVO. Bravo on your literary accomplishments. Clean it up a little and you not only have a best seller, but possibly the one of the greatest American novels.
Cheers. Give me a shout anytime; I would love to hear from you by email.
I came over at junkylife not so long ago and have read only few of those..(actually I chose the ones whos nick names I liked) and you are the only one, whos writing made me sit and just read. Almost swallowing information you shared. And till the very end of your writings I could not get get rid of the feeling that I was reading a book. You are one of a hell Writer and human. You should really think about putting all of your things into a Real Book. Cause you don`t lack talent, that`s for sure. I wish you to hold tight, to write some more and to be happy with yourself and those around you. Thanks for your thoughts and feelings. I am grateful to you for sharing them with me.
My Eng. might be a little crappy, cause I`m your international Fan from Tallinn city. =)
Take Care!
Awesome blog!
I thought about starting my own blog too but I’m just too lazy so, I guess I‘ll just have to keep checking yours out.
LOL,